I hate being sick. Pockets are so full of tissues I can't carry my DS around with me. Make stupid mistakes as I write things up. Can't carry all my books around with me all the time. Every noise makes my head hurt.

Crap I hate being sick.

Hope everyone had a good Christmas.

This world of ours is not as it seems;
The monsters are real but they're not in your dreams

*sigh* It's been a while, I suppose. Feeling a bit off, as I usually do around Christmas. Listening to the neigbours having their Christmas parties and watchin the snow melt... It's the end of the year, time to think about whether you've acheived all you set out to. Whether you've grown and changed, and what's gone right and wrong.

Have I done the stuff I wanted to do? The stuff I expected to have done three years ago when I moved out of London, determined to work my life out somehow?

Not really.
So sure, I have an art exhibition in February, I can play just about anything on the piano if I try hard enough. I've walked right across this town for people that aren't even there, and almost passed out- remember the water next time.
I've screwed up, I've learnt, I've moved on. But it isn't what I set out to do. Once again, I've gotten side-tracked.

How long do I have to wait to find what I'm looking for? How many more days, weeks, months- god knows, maybe years- do I have to spend wondering what is so wrong with me? Why I can never manage to find the simplest things?

It's late, I need to sleep.

...Yes. Haha. I seem to rule the dark triad: Psycopathey, Machiavellianism, and Narcissism. I am awesome. Got 93% on that Machiavelli personality test. Thought I might not have been enitrely truthful, I tried again later that night- got 95%. Hahaaaaa.

Decided my part of the exhibition in Feb will be 'Inspured by Gustav Dore'... Particularly his work for the Divine Comedy. I'm liking the feeling of knowing where I want to go with this. It's going to be a sucess, you know when you just feel really confident that you can pull it off? Yeah.

And you know something else?

It feels good to follow your dreams- you know, the things that the other kids sneered at you for loving when you were seven, the things your parents shied away from allowing you. The things that, no matter what, you have always found yourself drawn back to.

[link] pFkOYRl5hTM Take the space out- my apologies, dA likes to fuck up links.

Fuck yeah. I love thissss.
Also, formal portraiture is awesome. I'm really getting into these paintings I've been doing lately

Yeah, February. Exhibition, my family going to Italy without me, Assassin's Creed II- wait, what?

Yeah, so the AC2 PC version has been delayed. No longer is it coming out this year, even. Guess what? I have to wait until...D:

Fucking FEBRUARY.


It's not right to only delay it for PC users. I vote next time a game is delayed, if it don't come out for one platform when promised, they pull all the versions of it until they can release them all together. Fucking UNFAIR.

I was so looking forward to it. Now I have to wait until February. That's fucking AGES. Like there wasn't enough shit to deal with that month already.

*curls up in corner and cries*